How it Went Down in Panama!!!!
Original Post Date: May 1st, 2009
I’m not even sure where to start…As most of you know I’ve been talking about going to Panama since my conception. Ok that’s a little dramatic, maybe not that long but at least since January. Ha ha. …And what happened in Panama I have to say never happened to me before on vacation EVER!!!
Lets get right to it. I landed in Panama and I was just sick. Not sick like this is crazy to finally be here but actually my throat closed up, I can’t eat, talk or drink. I was literally sick!!!!!!! At first, I just thought it was a sore throat so the first night I fought through it like when Oscar was getting his butt toasted by Pacquio. But just like Oscar the beating could only go on but for so long. So I came to the conclusion that I needed to go to the hospital. Which then lead me to be like damn I need to find a hospital!! This probably would have been really easy if I could speak Spanish in full sentences… Thank God for the internet I found a Johns Hopkins hospital in Punta Pacifica. Ok now it was time to get my self together and get over to Punta Pacifica. WAIT where the hell is Punta Pacifica??? Is it right across the street, is it a suburb, do I have to take a plane then a boat and once I get off the boat ask for a man named Jose with a glass I who only walks with a limp on Thursdays? I don’t know!!! So I run down stairs (I was sick so it wasn’t a real run) to ask our welcoming/kind concierges, who was more than willing to explain to me how to get there… in SPANISH. At this point, I realized derechoa and izquierda weren’t going to be enough to get me there.
Sidebar: This is partially my fault because I should have realized the day before when I tired to get a ride to the Marriott hotel no one would give me a ride because in Panama its not pronounced Marriott its pronounced MarriOtt. Also fyi you have to pronounce every syllable in Spanish. I found this out because the street I was staying on was Calle 38 which I pronounced Trienta y Ocho but for some reason everyone thought I was saying ochenta y ocho which doesn’t exist and that along with Marriott with no extreme phrasing on the O got me kicked out of about 10 cabs. :-/
Anyway, so after finally just printing out a map I knew I needed to tell the homies. I knew they would be concerned because its scary for anyone to have to go to a hospital in a foreign country. Their response, ‚ÄúYou need us to go with you,” ie have fun finding your way by yourself homie I’m about to go out for a drink!!! :-/ As Dave Chappelle playing Rick James in one sketch said, Cold BLLLLLOOOOOOODDDDEDDD…but they are guys so I guess that’s the code we live by.
In my first visit to the hospital it was determined that I had strep throat and was prescribed an antibiotic pill and something for the inflammation. Guess what, dude was wrong. If I had known how to say that in Spanish I would have told him that next day when I had to go BACK to the hospital because my uvula was so enlarged it was just chilling on my tongue. This time I was able see a different doctor who determined I actually had Faringitis which is kinda the same thing but this one requires a different antibiotic…which, lets just say has to be administered, in a different type of way. OK OK I had to get a shoot in my @zz. In fact, not just one shot but a total of 4 different shots in my @zz over the course of 3 days, there I said it, laugh it up.
So basically, the majority of my trip and MY BIRTHDAY was spent at Hospital Punta Pacifica. Shouts out to doctor Vega and nurse Velarde. I did get to see the Panama Canal, Santa Clarita beach and some Cosco Viejo but was in pain most of the time.
PS Yes I’m sure I didn’t have swine flu so save the jokes. Ha ha
