Craigslist…You made my day!!!!
Original Post Date: Friday, March 14, 2008
So today I was skimming the Craigslist classifieds trying to see what prices ranges others were selling there stuff for (like desk and tvs) when I came across the following post:
I Would Like All of My T-Shirts back
Reply to: sale-606542453@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-14, 4:43PM PDT
To Whomever stole all of my good t-shirts out of the dryer on Wednesday,
You stole every single one of my favorite, simple, wear everyday, nice T-shirts.
I did laundry on tuesday after work, and yes I am stupid and forgot about the stuff in the dryer. I woke up at 5 am on thursday and remembered, but it was all gone. When the woman down the hall leaves her clothes in the washer for days – so long it smells by the time someone removes them and uses it for themselves, no one has stolen her Ed Hardy or her knock-off Guess sequined trash jeans she squeezes her rear into so tight it oozes over the waistband effectively making her torso look like the top of a gelatenous muffin. Or the guy who leaves his entire Banana Republic button-up shirt collection in both dryers for days and days and days.
Yet you choose to steal my simple, nice, and very CHEAP t-shirts. Solid colors, short sleeved, long sleeved, loose, snug. The cheap simple t-shirts that I can get away with my needed work-look of ‘Cali Cazh’ – Jeans and a nice t-shirt, I’m a Sound Person – no – I’m an Audio Girl. I can’t look too sexy, hair back, glasses on, functional clothes but never dyk-ey. The clients can see that I’m pretty (everyone likes eye-candy) but more nerdy – I have to be taken seriously.
You stole every shirt that I wore to work. I may be an audio girl, but I get paid squat. Hence I live in Van Nuys with you, the disgusting bitch who stole my clothes. Those of us who live in Van Nuys do not live there by choice, we live there because its the only place in the San Fernando Valley that we can AFFORD. Given that little brown nugget of truth, I cannot AFFORD to replace my cheap t-shirts. I bought them with x-mas money when all the ‘after x-mas’ sales happened, the first new clothes I have bought for myself in 2 years. And you stole all of them, congratulations.
I am now sitting here in a ragged and stretched-out sweater that was many years ago very nice, that I put in a bin to make a nice little handmade rug out of – but now it’s all I have left.
Whomever you are and wherever you are, I Hate You. And if I ever see you around the building in my film company promotional t-shirt that was a gift – the only one with a logo on it – you can’t lie to me that you bought it somewhere – I will ask politely for my clothes back. Though I would love to tear your thieving, petty limbs from your waste of space body and nail them to the walls of the laundry room to remind everyone what happens to thieves who steal from poor people – I won’t. I will only continue to hate you…….and maybe see if I can have you evicted.
Who knew thieves read craigslist? Who knew the whole city of Van Nuys was only filled with people who didn’t want to live there? Who knew that you could make a rug out of a sweater? Dang Craigslist is just chocked-full of information.
