Is that Tina Knowles?
Original Post date: January 09, 2007
I remember the days when in the words of 50 Cent, “You could find me in da club.” Since hittin my mid-twenties, the club hasn’t been the same to me. The club has become like an ex-girlfriend on Myspace. You may not like her, but every once in a while you gotta check her out just to see if she is still the same without you.
A couple of weeks ago my boy calls me and tells me a bunch of his boys are coming into town so we gotta get up. Unlike women, who many times love to sit around and catch up on each others lives without distractions, men usually need to have at least one or two distractions and one better be named Lisa and other Brandy i.e. women. Now don’t get me wrong, its not like as men we don’t care about each other. It’s just that we care about women more, and the easiest (not the best) place to find large groups of women is, you guessed it, da club.
So we do our normal guy thing at the club, walk in like we own the place, find a post up spot right by the dance floor and point out every women who we think is looking our way but really is looking at the kats behind us. Anyway, as we are chillin and catching up (now that women are around), I feel this little tap on my shoulder. I turn around and this woman is standing there in this ALL GOLD, ONE PIECE, JUMPSUIT, looking like Tina Knowles, in Beyonce’s clothes, reminiscent of the movie Gold Member. My first thought is, “Tina ain’t you too old to be at the club?” but we all know that wouldn’t have been right to say so I just said, “hey ma”. Her not knowing I meant she literally looked like somebody’s ma. She starts making small talk and when I say small talk I mean about two questions and then I guess she decides that she may as well say what she came over to say, “Soooooo, you wanna buy me a drink?” To which I reply, “Who me? Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha … I’m sorry you must have me mistaken. Who says something like that?” To which she replies, “I thought I would just come right out and ask. I thought you would think I was BOSSY,” then proceeds to raise her arms, wrist bent, and do the Kelis Bossy dance. WOW. This leaves me no other choice but to reply by saying, “That’s not Boss-y, That’s Hun-gry,” and walk away.
I would just like to blame both Beyonce and Kelis for my victimization because if it was not for them, these events would have never taken place.
